Mental Flossing in Cabo San Lucas

We flew to Cabo for a few days in January 2018.  In fact, I am writing this blog from a little slice of heaven on the beach.  Throughout the day we see whales as they play at the surface before diving back into the deep blue to go on with their days.  I stop what I am doing and point in awe of these fantastic creatures.  I want to shout, “I am moving into the neighborhood soon!”

Of course, I do not.  Even if there is no one on shore to hear me I don’t want the whales to worry about another sailor moving in and bringing down the property values…

Anyway, this trip is supposed to be about finding a place to invite all of our friends and family for a celebration of our love and a small ceremony on the beach later this year.  As we pick through our options keeping in mind that our income will be cut in half in June I am struggling to balance want vs. needs vs. making an experience that will be fun and cost-effective for all of our guests.  Bottom line I feel like I am cheap and Cabo is not.  So we talked long into the night about pivoting (nod to Jared from Silicon Valley) from our original plans.  As cruisers this is a skill that will serve us well – we might as well get some practice.

As we talked about planning this party I was able to see and acknowledge my own overwhelm.  As I did the following thoughts, questions and fears tumbled out of my mouth sometimes through tears and other times laughing out loud at the ridiculous nature of our human brains…

What if we get out there and hate it?  What if I am seasick as has been the case the last few times out on the bay?  What if we are too introverted to make friends?  What if (based on a couple of experiences on this trip) we feel unwelcome in other countries?  We are Americans after all. 

What if we are so used to eating out that we can’t adjust to eating my cooking?  Am I a bad cook? 

What if we run out of things to talk about?  What if I can’t climb the mast?  What if someone at home needs us?  What if the dog is miserable?

What if my Spanish isn’t good enough?  What if no one ever reads these words?  What if I can’t figure out how to make a decent video? 

…and then there is our current situation --- What if no one buys the tiny house?  What if the outboard never runs right?  What if living with my parents for 2 months ruins our relationship forever?  What if Megan suffers abandonment issues for the rest of her life?  Rainman or Spectra?

Photo credit - CJ

Photo credit - CJ

Can you see some of the laughable-through-the-tears moments here?  I can and so can Riv but that doesn’t stop my monkey mind from trying to get the better of me.

To ease your mind I will fill you in on the reasonable, light-of-day truths:

  • We have over 2 years of planning into this adventure.
  • Riv has his USCG captain’s license and I am no slouch either.
  • We have both researched the hell out of just about every aspect of cruising.
  • Safety is our agreed upon number one priority on the water and we have outfitted the boat accordingly.
  • We have talked to cruisers extensively.
  • My Spanish is good enough and will get better – then we’ll need Riv’s French.
  • I can’t climb the mast unless I freakin’ try and practice and try some more.
  • I am a pretty good cook and I enjoy it.
  • Seasickness is temporary and we have a year’s supply of Scopolamine, ginger pills, relief bands, etc.
  • If we feel unwelcome we will move on.
  • Megan knows she is loved.  Once off to college, I didn’t really think about what my parents were doing.  I was pretty busy working, studying and partying…
  • I have already read these words and our friends and family will be thrilled to see and hear what we are up to regardless of whether or not I am the next Martin Scorsese, Ron Howard, Cameron Crowe, or Peter McKinnon

The stark truth is that we are changing almost every aspect of our lives in one fell swoop.  With each change we implement, I feel discomfort.  And, it’s not like the changes are 1 or 2 at a time.  At this point, it feels like we are living in fast forward (nod to Kenney).  Of course, I am overwhelmed!

It is the journey, not the destination.  I know this to be true and I do my best to keep it in mind as these days fly by.  I do take time to cherish these last days living with my daughter and being present to witness her journey and how our paths have started to diverge.  I do take joy in spending time with my parents.  I do express gratitude for the people and experiences that have been a part of my journey thus far.  I know the pain and discomfort is growth so here is to major growth in 2018!

Seas the day,